Monday, December 12, 2011

Andaikan..

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

Salam sesuci embun di pagi hari ini...Alhamdulillah atas nikmat hayat yang masih sudi dipinjamkanNya sehari lagi, buat menambah amal dan taubat..moga2 Allah kasih dan sayang pada hamba yang faqir ini..TT

Tinggal lagi beberapa hari sebelum berangkat pulang bersama-sama anakanda Balqis,tanpa kehadiran papanya.. sungguh,walaupun ini hanya sementara,lebih kurang sebulan setengah, namun ia nyata tidak semudah yang cuba dibayangkan..bertambah sukar apabila kita dijadikan Allah sebagai manusia yang berperasaan..namun,pada Allah dipohon agar SEGALA-GALANYA dipermudahkan,..moga Allah meringankan juga beban perasaan anakanda Balqis kala berjauhan dengan papanya ini kerana mereka sememangnya sangat rapat... 

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ

"Hanya Engkaulah yang kami sembah, dan hanya kepada Engkaulah kami meminta pertolongan"

Tinggal beberapa minggu lagi sebelum anakanda soleh ini bakal menjengah lahir ke dunia...mohon didoakan yang baik-baik,dan semoga kelahiran ini bakal menjadi satu nilai tambah yang bermanfaat pada agama suci ini..besar sungguh harapan ibubapa kerdil ini agar anakanda kedua ini bakal membesar menjadi mujahid yang qawi lagi musleh...tidak banyak entri yang memperkatakan tentang pengalaman mengandungkannya namun, ia sebenarnya satu catatan yang indah tersimpan kemas di memori ibu ini...mungkin sedikit yang boleh dikongsikan, ternyata pembawaaan kali ini sungguh sangat berbeza dengan kakaknya...dipermudahkanNya dari awal kehamilan, tiada langsung seksa alahan, selera makan yang tidak bermasalah, kesihatan yang alhamdulillah stabil dari segi bacaan hemoglobin,tekanan darah yang walaupun selalu menggusarkan doktor namun tidak menimbulkan banyak komplikasi pada mamanya, dan berbagai lagi aturan Allah yang terlalu indah bagi episod pengalaman kali ini...

Paling disyukuri adalah kerana masih diberi kekuatan untuk berpuasa dan bersolat secara berdiri sehingga ke hari ini berbanding sewaktu mengandungkan kakak Balqis dulu kerana bengkak kedua-dua belah kaki yang datang menyapa terlalu awal...masih diberi upaya kehulu-hilir,memanjat tangga untuk urusan menuntut ilmu di kuliah, hospital dan juga tuisyen...pernah juga sesekali terutama dalam fatrah akhir trimester ini, diterpa sayu di dalam teksi ketika pulang ke rumah kerana baru terasa penat dan lelah seorang ibu yang mengandung...di penghujung hari, apabila malam telah melabuhkan tirainya, maka saat berseorangan itulah benar-benar terasa bahawa lemahnya diri ini jika tidak ada kekuatan dari Dia yang Maha Menguatkan...Maha suci Allah, semoga Dia tidak meninggalkan diriku keseorangan,penuh lelah dan tidak berdaya..

Dan, akhir-akhir ini kesakitan sudah mula terasa di merata-rata tempat..bengkak yang asalnya hanya disebelah kaki sahaja sudah mula menjalar ke kaki yang disebelah lagi..semestinya tidur malam sudah tidak seselesa dulu..namun Balqis dan papanya sangat berkompromi..tempat tidur mama dilapik tebal, ada pula 2-3 biji bantal extra hehe..semoga Allah mengganjari mereka yang dikasihi ini dengan sebaik-baik ganjaran,ameen..

Saya kira, inilah saatnya Allah mahu mendidik jiwa seorang ibu supaya lebih tunduk merendahkan hati mengadu dan merayu kekuatan dariNya..kerna pertolongan Allah itu sememangnya sangat dekat...

Semoga dipertemukan lagi...saya pohon kemaafan dari semua yang mengenali..dan selamat menghayati dendangan tulus ini..

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Monday, December 5, 2011

Blessed

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim..


I have a lot to say..
But i'm not really into blogging for the past few weeks..Yes, some things are best to be left unsaid =)

It's just life's been good to me at the moment..to us actually..everything is just on its pace,making me to stay grateful for all the wonderful things He planned on me..

We'll be having our end round exam this week.. Mine with Chest and Tropical round while my dear roommate will be occupied with Neuro thingy until the day comes. Do wish us luck ya...

And,gladly our dear Balqis lately has been so lovely understanding upon our condition..that most of the time she choose to let herself dwell in joy with some typical preschool activities that we set on her..while mama and papa are busy chit-chatting together hehe..

To some extent,I’m starting to feel how watching my daughter grows up could be bittersweet...I miss to cuddle her like a baby..feed her, or even wake up in the middle of sleep at night to change her diaper..Now that Balqis is 3 and half years old, I’m surprised by how fast we got here. There are still rough times: clashes over foods, her nap is still a problem, and it takes some effort to get her to sleep at night. You’ve got better things to do than read a mommy’s brag sheet about her daughter… so I will spare you. But I tell you she really is amazing.. Everyday she's trying out new exciting things that melt my heart..when we picked her at school, she would tell me "mom, school best"(notice that she didnt put "is" here..i think she's still in developing process on how to make a proper sentence hehe)..When she heard that i'm whining over something,she'd say " It's ok mom..smile,smile..I VOVIU(I love you)"..and i dont know why lately she choose to call me as "mom" because truthfully i'd rather prefer to be addressed as "Mama"..and if she's done something wrong or she realized that she'd made her papa turns green with a frowned face, she'll quickly say this again and again "i'm soli(sorry) papa, with a sober but cute face until she feel forgave..He he..It's just,I write it here as a reminder to embrace every second offered as a parent..her papa and I did what any good parents should do – we decided to start having more fun as well!

Also, I feel like sharing it here about my daughter milestone in memorizing Quran..after a lengthy discussion between my husband and me and loads of research, we did like the other parents out there who want to build a foundation of Quran reading when the kids are very young..Right now, Alhamdulillah eventhough she's not so brilliant with the hijaiyah alphabet (there are few letters that she misunderstood and cant say properly like "Ra") that SOMETIMES I feel like giving up teaching her in a chronological manner, we dont want to overwhelm her..Just let her learn in her own pace and at the same time did not miss her fun time.. So,with a jumpstart here and there (due to our poor commitment and discipline), Alhamdulillah she's managed to recite few short surahs quite nice if not so properly like Surah Al-Ikhlas, Surah Al-Kauthar, Surah Al-'Asr, Surah Al-Fatihah and some surahs still in progress..Alhamdulillah..pray for her ya =)


OK, enough about my princess =)

So,pagi ini, rancangan asalnya seusai solat subuh adalah nak menyudahkan pinggan yang bersusun kerana tak sempat mencuci selepas memasak sebelum ke tusyen malam tadi. Balik dari tusyen, bengkak di kaki makin terasa denyutannya jadi my other half suruh berehat saja sambil borak-borak dengannya dan melayan Balqis beraktiviti. So, i plan to settle all of it this morning..Tapi, masuk je dapur tadi, masyaAllah semuanya sudah bersih dan kemas tersusun..melangkah ke bilik Balqis nak kemaskan barang-barang mainannya pula,walla! semua sudah tersimpan rapi di bakul mainan, buku-bukunya siap tersusun di rak..

Subhanallah, i was speechless for the kindness of a husband that He gave me..I know that he's done a lot since our knot ties,just to make sure that the children and I feel safe and happy being parts of his life TT

Most of the time, i dont prefer to write about my husband here, or anything about our marriage..for me, it's kind of privacy that i limit myself to talk about here in public. But, right now i just feel that it's OK to write out about it sometimes for the sake of my appreciation..because who knows it would be nicer for him to read it somewhere rather than listening it directly from my mouth..=)

Lastly, I know I can never thank him enough for all his quality..but, with Allah's grace i did promise myself to never let him down...and to always stay together throughout his ups and downs..ahha,it's just that i cant deny he's indeed my better half...

Oh, please excuse this if I lay it on thick..the fact is we will be saying goodbye to each other for quite a long time that i couldnt stop praying deeply that Allah will ease our feeling towards this..InsyaAllah together with Balqis,I will go back to Malaysia very soon for my maternity leave..And, papa will rejoin us in Malaysia right after the winter break holiday has started,which is on January 26th(lamanyaaa huu~).

And suddenly I've just noticed that I never speak a word about this here..

Yes,InsyaAllah we are welcoming our Second bundle of joy...three and half years had passed and kakak Balqis growing up alone...Allah must have known that we needed a new baby in our home so Alhamdulillah, here I am approaching my 32 weeks pregnancy healthily (so healthy that sometimes it traumatizes me to look at myself in the mirror) and thankfully..Please pray for our safety..

After all, Thank you Allah for the gift you have given me..My pride and joy, my little princess, my coming little hero, my endless warmth supports from beloved hubby,family and friends.. =)

Those are what makes my life worth while...Alhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah~~